Never Forget
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: She was his obsession, a blessing and a curse, she had put him away for eight years and he had wanted to make her pay but could it be possible that he was in love with her? Or was he simply caught up in the thrill of the hunt?
1. Prologue: Thrill of the Hunt

**Never Forget**

**Prologue: Thrill of the Hunt**

**Disclaimer: They do not belong to me.**

**A/N: Yes, I started a new story. I promise this does not mean that I have forgotten about "Bound By Blood" or "I Wanna Come Home". I just was overcome with the urge to write something with Richard White in it (And no Essy I couldn't just go write "Elliot on Trial" although I don't know why inspiration has taken a vacation on that one). So I was thinking that with everything that Olivia is going through these days, would she really remember Richard White as well as we all seem to think she does? Heck, I don't think that after all this time the writers even remember him (though I fervently hope that they do so he can come back and be evil and frightening). Well, this A/N is ending up incredibly long so I should probably wrap it up and let you get to the part where you read the story. This first chapter is for IceAngelKauru for getting me thinking about Richard White when I probably should have been writing my already existing stories or sleeping, it's been so long since I've slept LOL.**

**A/N: Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention that the timeline for this is post "Philadelphia" but this story has nothing to do with what is happening in "Bound By Blood".**

He stood from the bench at the subway stop and got on the train. The car was crowded but he still spotted her instantly. He made his way through the crush of bodies until he was mere inches from her. If she had turned around, she would have seen him staring. He was so close that he could smell her perfume; a subtle sent that seemingly overwhelmed his senses. Although the car was full to the brim with New Yorkers of all shapes and sizes, in his mind there were only the two of them, him and his prey.

Richard White had been granted parole over a month ago. He was disappointed that she hadn't shown up at the hearing. He had told her that he was fixed on her and in his mind that meant that she would never forget him. But Olivia was different from Louise, she was different than Kimberly and she was different than Karen. He could intimidate her, he could terrify her but after eight years, it was obvious that she had forgotten about him.

Part of him hated her for it, how dare she not remember who he was? He hadn't forgotten her a day of the eight years he spent in prison after she and her colleagues had put him there. Yet, at the same time it was good that she didn't remember him. If his face had haunted her nightmares as he had hoped for so long, he would have never been able to get as close as he did on numerous occasions.

He'd been following her from his first day back on the streets and knew nearly every intricacy of her daily routine. She was so predictable it made him want to laugh. Anyone who took the time to tale her would know exactly what time she left her building in the morning, exactly when she arrived at the precinct, how long a lunch break she took on those rare days when she could go eat lunch with her partner and even with her unpredictable hours, it was easy enough to know around what time she would be home at night.

Even now, she was taking the subway to visit her partner. It was one of those nights when she simply couldn't stay at home alone. She would walk from the couch to the fridge and back, picking up a bottle of beer from the coffee table and nursing it in such a delicate manner that Richard wished, as he sat on the stoop across the street, that he was that beer bottle. She would finally make the decision, without even picking up the phone, to simply get up and head to her partner's apartment building.

Usually the reasons that brought her to make that decision were so preoccupying that she didn't even notice when he brushed against her on the stairs down to the platform. But lately, these visits had become more frequent and her expression when he caught a glimpse of her face on the train was so much more troubled than it usually was. Richard couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking.

The train came to a stop and as usual she exited onto the middle platform of the subway station. Richard followed, maintaining a safe distance; it wasn't sensible for him to get as close to her in the open as he had in the subway car whether she recognized him or not. She took the familiar route to the run down apartment building which, Richard surmised was all that Stabler could afford while going through a divorce.

She took a seat on the stoop, pulling out her cell phone to alert him to her presence in the usual way. After a few seconds Richard heard, from his hiding place behind a nearby dumpster, that same phone ringing. Olivia flipped the phone open and answered the call.

It was obvious from her casual 'Hey' that the caller was her partner from upstairs. After a brief conversation, she stood up and went inside the building. Richard thought he saw Detective Stabler on the other side of the door and he thought he saw him give her a quick embrace before the two of them disappeared up to his apartment.

Richard climbed the drain pipe that ran up beside Detective Stabler's apartment window and waited. As usual, all he saw was two people sitting on a couch, watching TV and talking but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Richard knew that the evening would end only one of two ways. She would leave alone and go back to her apartment or they would leave together and head to a diner for a late night snack. When he saw both of them rise, he knew that tonight it would be the latter.

Richard slid down the drain pipe and waited again. The two of them exited the building in mid conversation. She was smiling faintly as she headed towards their customary late night eatery.

"Thanks El," she gave a small nod of her head and it looked as though she had been on the verge of tears.

"It'll be okay," Elliot told her and Richard felt a pang of jealousy seer through him when Elliot took Olivia's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

As Richard followed them, he wondered why that simple gesture had filled him with such jealousy if only briefly. She was his obsession, a blessing and a curse, she had put him away for eight years and he had wanted to make her pay but could it be possible that he was in love with her? Or was he simply caught up in the thrill of the hunt?

**A/N: Well that was the prologue. I'd really love to know what you guys thought of it. Please let me know if I should keep going. I should go catch some Z's now. Bye-bye.**


	2. Chapter 1: No One There

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 1: No One There**

**A/N: I'm trying to do something different with this story. I've always written in third person omniscient. This time however, I am going to write each chapter in third person but only showing one character's POV. The prologue was in Richard White's point of view and chapter one is in Elliot's. I thought it would be interesting to get two drastically different views of Olivia from two drastically different men. I hope you guys like what I am doing with this story. Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews for the first chapter, urging me to continue. I love all of you guys. This chapter is for KaydenceRei because I don't think I've ever seen the word "pigeon" in a review before and I love her for it.**

He sat across from her in the brightly lit diner. The plate of French fries, barely touched, cooling quickly between them. He sipped on his diet coke as she just stared into the depths of her glass of iced tea. He didn't remember ever seeing her so sad in all the years he had known her than in these past couple of weeks. The irrefutable evidence that her brother was in fact a rapist had been such a crushing blow and Elliot knew that he couldn't do anything to take her pain away.

He could tell her a thousand times that she wasn't her father and she wasn't her brother but it wouldn't coax a genuine smile from those beautiful lips of hers. And up until all of this, she had been smiling, really smiling a lot more than he'd ever remembered. He was more relieved than he would admit when she came back from being undercover. He had promised himself that he would stop being an ass to her if he could help it and for the most part, he had succeeded.

Now it seemed like it didn't matter anymore to her how he acted, not that he would try and push her away now the way he had in the past but learning about her brother and then learning what he was had broken something inside her and it made him want nothing more than to gather her into his arms and just hold her, to protect her from all the evils that the world seemed determined on throwing her way.

But that kind of behavior was inappropriate considering their professional relationship. After all, it was because they were too close that Cragen had considered splitting them up as partners. Elliot was torn between needing to be guarded about his every word with the woman who had been his best friend almost since the moment he met her and wanting to physically comfort the woman who had been his confidant, who knew more about him than his ex-wife could ever hope to.

He reached for a now cold French fry and popped it into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully as he studied his partner's movements carefully. She took a small sip of her iced tea and straightened up to look at him. She looked as though even putting that small amount of liquid in her stomach was more than she could bare, she looked ill. But Elliot knew that the iced tea had nothing to do with that.

They had been sitting in silence for most of the evening. The silence was comfortable, as it always was between them but there was something beneath it, the deep sadness that Olivia carried. Elliot had tried to make conversation once or twice but the topic would somehow always make its way back to the elephant in the room: Simon Marsden.

The latest news that either of them had heard was that Simon had gone on a breaking and entering spree across five states. In just a matter of a week and a half, the man had attacked six women. The FBI had been called in to try and catch him.

Elliot cleared his throat as Olivia ran the back of her hand over her eyes. "Why is it so bright in here?" she asked and Elliot couldn't help smiling hearing her voice even if she sounded completely worn down.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked her.

She nodded "It's just a little headache," she told him.

He knew it wasn't just a headache "I'll take you home," he offered, hoping she would accept.

"I'm fine Elliot," she stated plainly "I'll take the subway, don't worry." She stood up from the booth and he rose quickly to follow her.

"I'll walk with you," he said quickly, his voice unable to mask the concern he was feeling. He dropped a ten dollar bill on the table beside the plate of French fries and walked out into the night after her. He half expected her to turn around and tell him that his company wasn't necessary and that he should just go back to his place. He expected her to state again and again that same blatant lie that she was fine when it was so obvious that she wasn't. So he was mildly surprised when she simply shrugged.

"Thanks," she whispered.

He walked beside her, the comfortable silence taking over once again. Suddenly just as they came around a corner, Elliot stopped short, holding out one hand to grab Olivia and pull her behind him. With his other hand, he drew his gun and began to scan the seemingly abandoned area for what he could hav sworn he saw there only a moment before.

"What the hell?" he heard Olivia murmuring from behind him. He could tell that he had surprised her and he knew that she would most likely give him hell about it later but better safe than stabbed in his book.

He held his gun out in front of him "Police," he was careful to identify himself but no scared junkies appeared from behind dumpsters and no homeless men rose from the heating grates with their hands raised. The place seemed deserted for blocks. But he could have sworn that he had seen someone watching them.

Olivia put her hand on his arm and slowly with her gentle touch, forced him to lower his gun "There's no one here," she told him simply.

"I could have sworn," Elliot muttered as he returned his gun to his holster. He turned to Olivia in the dim light of a nearby street lamp "There was someone here," he told her. He gestured with his hand towards a dumpster "Right there, someone was watching us." He knew she thought he had lost his mind but he knew what he'd seen.

"Elliot," Olivia sighed as she started walking in the direction of the subway station again. "It's been a long day. We're both on edge these days."

Elliot knew she had a point but still… he had seen someone. He looked back at the dumpster one last time before following Olivia the rest of the way to the subway. There was no one there.

**A/N: Well, that was chapter two. I hope you all like it. More to come soon I promise. I'm thinking that the next chapter will show Olivia's prospective on things but I haven't decided yet. I could either show her prospective directly or keep portraying her through the people around her. I'll figure that out soon I hope.**


	3. Chapter 2: Strike

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 2: Strike**

**A/N: It's been a while since I updated this one but I was feeling inspired. I hope you guys like it. This chapter is from Richard White's point of view again. I'm planning to have the next one in Olivia's.**

He watched her walk down into the subway, making sure to keep his distance; Stabler had nearly caught him and he wasn't about to let that happen. She paused at the turnstiles, fishing in her pocket for change. The station was deserted and he didn't dare get close enough to brush her hand as he would normally do. Then it hit him, the place was deserted. There was almost no one around. If he surprised her from behind he could silence her before she could even make a sound. She passed through the turnstiles and his attention returned to her. The fluid way in which she moved was simply alluring.

As he searched through his pockets for the spare change needed to pass through the turnstile, her cell phone rang. His head snapped up at the sound of her voice.

"Benson," she walked to the top of the stares and leaned against the railing, her gaze drifting to the ceiling. She listened to what the person on the other end had to say for a few minutes, her already forlorn appearance seeming to deepen with each passing second. "Thank you Agent Porter," she said before hanging up the phone. She turned to walk down the stairs, moving almost numbly.

He passed through the turnstile and followed her down to the platform. His heart raced and he felt his excitement growing when he saw that the platform was completely abandoned. He could make his move now and no one would ever know. He watched as she took a seat on a bench and put her head in her hands. She was incredible. He longed to possess her. He walked towards the bench where she sat and sat beside her with less that an inch separating them.

She didn't even look up, too lost in her own worries to notice his presence. It would be so easy just to grab her. Even if she screamed, there was no one to hear her. He could drag her behind the staircase and make her his even before the next train pulled into the station. He smiled at the thought. In his minds eye, he could already see the fear in her eyes. His window of opportunity was closing. If he was going to do this, he would have to act now.

He shifted in his seat to face her and was about to pounce when he heard the train pulling in. He cursed inwardly as he faced forward once again. He would simply have to be content with following her for tonight. But, he thought to himself, the moment would come when she would be his.

The doors of the train opened and a few people spilled out onto the platform. Olivia rose and he followed her into the nearest car. The car was completely empty.

Three minutes and twenty five seconds, that's how long it would be from the second the doors closed until the second they opened again at the next stop. Richard had studied every aspect of Olivia's day down to the last detail and he knew this for a fact. Three minutes and twenty five seconds until the next stop. His apartment was near the next stop. It was a rundown, sleepy little building and no one would be awake at this hour. Three minutes twenty five seconds, he could do so much in that short amount of time. Whether or not the platform at the next station was deserted as well, he had enough time to have her at least once. He took his seat beside her as the doors slammed shut. Show time.

She still looked lost in her own thoughts. Whatever information she had learned during the course of that phone call had totally obliterated her. He wondered if she even had it in her to fight him, he hoped so. He cleared his throat "Bad day?" he asked, seemingly innocuously, as way of getting her attention.

Her head snapped up, she had heard him. She turned and looked at him. He smirked when he saw the look of shocked recognition on her face "So you do remember me," he grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her into his lap.

"You know," he told her as he grabbed her gun before she could even reach it "You hurt my feelings when you didn't show up at my parole hearing." He pushed her to the floor of the car and held her there.

He could see the look in her eyes, it wasn't fear, rather she was trying to pull herself back into the present, events having happened too fast for her grief stricken mind to process. Finally, she answered him "No one told me," she whispered "If I had known they were going to let you out, I probably would have come to the courthouse and shot you."

He smiled, she was trying to be tough but her voice wavered ever so slightly. Three minutes ten seconds left. He slapped her once, twice, three times just for fun before pulling her up by her throat to face him. "Do you know that I thought of nothing but you for all the years I was in prison?" he growled with an animalistic desire. "I told you I was fixed on you. I never forgot you for a second. You on the other hand," he slammed her back down "I guess I didn't make that big of an impression on you the first time," he bent down and pressed his lips roughly to hers "I'll just have to try harder this time."

Three minutes one second left.


	4. Chapter 3: Caught

Never Forget

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 3: Caught**

**A/N: Okay, at special request I'm back with this story. I don't know how much of it I'll be able to get done but I'm gonna try. I know this chapter is short but I'm trying to get back into the feel of this story and that might take a while.**

How could life be anymore cruel? On the very same night that she was forced to confront the death of her only living relative, she was destined to cross paths with the sadistic and savage Richard White. Olivia kneed White in the stomach and managed to scoot back on the floor of the car a good five feet. She leapt to her feet and began looking around for her gun.

It lay on the floor, beneath one of the seats just beyond where White was now standing, glaring at her. He took a step towards her, teeth bared, fists clenched tight, a strange and terrifying look in his eyes. He through the first punch and she dodged it. She dove, attempting to reach her gun but White grasped her ankle first. She fell hard on her stomach, her arms splayed in front of her, still trying to reach the gun.

She could feel his hot breath next to her ear as he lay on top of her "I wouldn't try that again if I were you," he told her in a threatening tone.

She managed to roll onto her back. She was going to get away from him, somehow, she had too. She could see it in his eyes, what he wanted, what he would take if she let him. She tried to crawl away but got only a few inches on her side before she saw a gun being waved in her face. She froze instantly. He'd gotten to her gun.

"Now hold still," White told her harshly. He hit her over the head with the butt of the gun once "A little obedience goes a long way."

"Go to hell," Olivia hissed as she pulled her head off the floor and used it to whack White in the chin. She lay down on the floor of the subway car almost instantly. The blow to the head White had inflicted with her gun was making her woozy. Her attempts seemed futile as White brought the butt of the gun again. She continued to struggle as her strength and ability to fight back rapidly waned.

She dug her nails into his left arm as with the other arm, White brought the butt of the gun down again. Her nose was gushing blood by this point, she could barely see straight. But she kept fighting as fear gripped her. It looked like White was going to win and she couldn't let him, she just couldn't let him. She didn't want to die this way. She didn't want to die period.

White brought the gun down once more and she went limp. She was in so much pain at this point that she just couldn't fight. Tears began to creep passed her shut eyelids. This was it. This was the end.

While she didn't want it to be the end, she hoped, as unconsciousness tried to drag her down, that she would indeed not wake up because she was afraid of the hell that would await her when she did. The last thing she remembered was the train stopping and the doors opening, then she was floating, not floating, being carried. Dear God, he wasn't done with her. She finally accepted unconsciousness willingly.


	5. Chapter 4: Small Glitch

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 4: Small Glitch**

**A/N: Okay, so I think I might have found my rhythm again. Anyway, I came up with some good ideas for this story. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.**

He saw a few people passing on the platform. He looked down and quickly scooped up his prize, turning her face towards his chest so any passers by would not notice the damage. He stared down at the floor of the train car and the smattering of her blood that covered it.

He quickly exited, keeping his head down and ignoring the occasional odd glance of a pedestrian who might still be awake to note that there was something off about the picture before them. He strode up the stairs confidently, feeling Olivia's warm breath against his neck as he did. He hoped he hadn't hurt her so badly that she wouldn't wake up, after all, what fun would it be to torture her if he couldn't watch her spirit become completely obliterated.

Cool air hit them as he made his way out onto the street. The air seemed to have enough of a bite to it to shock Olivia into a semi conscious state. He felt her try to pull away from him "No," she muttered almost incoherently.

He pulled her tight against him "Shut your mouth," he hissed. A few feet away from him stood a traffic cop. The man, whom Richard was not familiar with, was ticketing a car. He knew that if the officer noticed him carrying an unconscious woman, there would be questions.

"Evening Sir," the officer called, walking over to where Richard had stopped dead in his tracks "Is everything alright?"

Richard began to formulate a story in his mind as the officer came over to where he stood. He kept Olivia's face pressed against his shoulder for fear that she would be recognized "Yes officer," he answered simply "My wife and I just got back from a party. She had a little too much to drink and passed out on the train. I'm just gonna take her home so she can sleep it off."

"May I see some ID?" the officer asked skeptically.

"Is that really necessary?" Richard tried not to look nervous. He could keep his cool. He was so close now. Just a matter of yards to his building and she would be his forever. He couldn't let this man stop him.

He felt the heavy weight of Olivia's gun in his coat pocket. It would be so simple. One bullet between the eyes and this obstacle would be permanently removed from his life. He looked around. There was no one on the street for as far as he could see in any direction.

He let Olivia fall into a standing position, still keeping her face hidden against his chest. The movement seemed to make her more aware of her surroundings. He tried to stop her as she swung herself around. All he managed to do was keep her from falling forward onto the pavement but the officer had seen her face. Richard reached in his pocket and tugged at the gun.

"Help me," Olivia managed to say in a weak voice to the officer.

Richard had the gun in his hand but just at that moment, he heard a group of boisterous college age kids exiting the station behind him. He dropped the gun back into his pocket. He couldn't shoot the officer and leave witnesses. He would have to wait until they passed. As long as he could convince the man that Olivia was simply drunk, he would be okay.

The officer took a step closer "What happened to you?" he questioned.

"She had a bit of a run in with another woman at the party," Richard lied "You know some sort of soccer mom thing," he shrugged his shoulders "I don't understand it myself."

"Uh-huh," the officer didn't sound like he believed his story. The group of students was still too close for Richard to make his move. The officer took another step towards Olivia "Are you alright miss?"

"Help me…" Olivia managed again, this time her voice was deliciously feeble in Richard's ears. There was so much brokenness to it, so much fear and desperation. He felt a stirring between his legs. He had to have her, he couldn't let this man stand in his way any longer.

"I think your wife should get to a hospital," the officer said with a stern look.

"She's fine," Richard said dismissively, then bending his head he placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek "You're fine aren't you honey?" his tone was harsh, threatening.

The officer reached for his radio "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to insist that you come with me to the hospital."

It had to be now. He had to shoot him now, before he spoke through that radio. It didn't matter that the group of college kids was still in earshot. He would shoot him and run for it. He couldn't lose this opportunity.

He pulled the gun from his pocket and fired. The officer's radio clattered to the ground as the man slumped forward and Olivia let out a weak, shocked yelp.

"What's that?" the college kids began to ask each other as Richard heard them running back in his direction.

He scooped up Olivia and bolted for it. His building was just around the corner. He was so close. She had no chance of escaping him now. He reached the building and wasted no time fumbling with the key. He half carried, have dragged her limp body up the three flights of stairs to his apartment, ignoring her weak cries and her feeble movements which in comparison to the thud of her lower body against the stairs wasn't even noticeable.

He reached his door and flung in open, tossing Olivia's body onto the couch. She bounced once and then lay still. He took off his coat and through it down on the floor where he stood. After closing and bolting the door shut he turned to her.

His heart was pumping so fast. The rush was overwhelming. The sheer ecstasy that filled him was so overwhelming that he could no longer control the errection that had been forming for sometime already.

He reached out, attempting to undress her and enter her before the moment came but he found himself ejaculating in his boxers before he could even find the zipper of her pants. He cursed and simply collapsed on top of her. There would be plenty of other chances now.

She was his. He could do whatever he wanted to her and if she resisted him, it would only mean an excuse to inflict more pain upon her. He had succeeded.

**A/N: I gave White a premature ejaculation problem LOL. It was the best way I could think of keeping him from raping her right away. Also I figured that he's been getting off on simply settling for brushing against her for so long that the thought of having her all to himself would be enough to make him have a waking wet dream. I'll try to update soon.**


	6. Chapter 5: Out of Reach

Never Forget

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 5: Out of Reach**

**A/N: Piper-Jacko06-Butterflygirl, this is just for you. You rock!**

She lay beneath him, tears pouring down the sides of her face and soaking her hairline. He'd shot that man. She'd tried to get away and it had probably cost that young officer his life. She'd grabbed onto that one bit of hope and held it so tight for the brief time that it had been there but now it was gone.

He had shot that man. His blood was on Olivia's hands. She'd just been so desperate to get away. When she'd seen the policeman, she'd prayed for a miracle. She'd willed her mouth to form the words, forced her throat to make them as loud as she could and in the end it had ended up getting the man shot.

She still couldn't move much. Her motions were impeded not only by White's weight on top of hers but by the haze of dizziness that seemed intent on keeping its hold on her. She tried to open her mouth, tried to make some small sound in hopes that some neighbor would hear her and call the cops but nothing came.

She could hear the sirens of the ambulance and squad cars that were responding to the news that one of there own had been shot. Elliot could very well be among them. Perhaps he would notice her absence and try to call her? But what use would that be? It would make him suspicious enough to look for her yes but he would never think that her disappearance would have anything to do with the shooting of the officer.

She tried to breathe deeply as White shifted on top of her. Cops would be canvassing the area, searching for anyone who heard or saw anything. They would find her. Somehow they would come to this apartment and find her. White was an ex-con after all, they would come knocking on his door first. Salvation was close, she just had to remain calm and wait.

White suddenly stood up and hauled her to her feet. She wavered but somehow managed to stand under her own power. He began to drag her towards the bedroom. She shuddered, wondering if he too knew that his time with her was coming to a close. What was he going to do to her?

She shut her eyes, reminding herself to remain calm. There was a way out, there was light at the end of the tunnel. She reached down inside herself and found a bit of fight left. Breaking free from White's grasp, she reeled around, nearly toppling to the floor. She collapsed against a wall beside a window. Red and blue flashing lights from squad the cars below reflected in White's eyes as he came towards her.

_So close, so close, just a little further, just hold out a little longer. Open the window. Call for help. You're so close. They'll find you. Come on, get up!_ Her mind screamed at her.

She pulled herself up and reached to open the window. White grabbed her and flung her to the floor. He through himself on top of her, immobilizing her again.

"Help!" she was surprised that she'd managed to scream at all let alone a coherent word.

"Shut up!" White growled as he pushed her face into the linoleum floor "Shut up!" he hissed again when she continued to make noise. It wasn't words anymore, it sounded more like loud sobs.

She couldn't control it. She just wanted to get away. She was so close to freedom. She had never been so terrified. The pain in her body was so bad and she just wanted to get away.

White reached for a nearby pile of dirty clothes on the floor and grabbed a tie he had worn to a job interview earlier that week. He balled it up and shoved it in her mouth so fast and forcefully that she nearly gagged. With half the tie already in her mouth, muffling her sobs, he wound the rest of it around the back of her head and tied it off so that the fabric lay flush against her cheek. He opened the closet door and shoved her inside. Picking up an old piece of rope from where it lay on the floor, he bound her wrists and ankles.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll keep quiet," he hissed, grabbing her face with both his hands "Do you understand?" he almost screamed. When he received no answer he back handed her.

Her head was spinning. She allowed herself to fall against the back wall of the closet where she curled up in a tight ball facing away from White. He was going to hit her again, she knew it. This was the only way she could protect herself now.

She let out a long breath went he simply left her alone in the dark closet. She just hoped he would continue to leave her alone. There was still a chance, maybe they would insist on searching his apartment? They could still find her. There was still hope. But the longer she lay there, the more she began to believe that she was fooling herself.

After a while she heard a knock on White's door. She heard voices but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She had to try to get their attention. An attempt to bang on the wall of the closet as way of making noise only made her feel nauseous and she had to stop while she fought an internal war with herself not to throw up.

By the time she had forced the bile back down her throat the voices had stopped. White had closed the door to his apartment and footsteps were fading down the hall. With help beyond her reach and White's footsteps headed in the direction of the closet she collapsed to the floor. There was nothing more she could hold onto.

All but the crime scene units would be gone soon. No one would think of coming back to the neighborhood, even after a ballistics test showed that the officer had been shot with her gun. By then they would know she was missing and it would probably have been days. She was sure she would be dead by then. She clenched her eyes as tight as she could as she heard the sound of the closet door opening.


	7. Chapter 6: Renewed Hope

Never Forget

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 6: Renewed Hope**

His eyes were glued to his desk. Three days, she'd been missing for three days. They'd been looking for her for three whole days! Seventy two hours, it had been seventy two hours and counting. Where was she? Was she okay? He kept his gaze downcast so he wouldn't have to look up at the empty desk across from him or the looks that his colleagues kept giving him.

He'd been the last person to see her that night so he'd been the prime suspect for the first sixteen hours. It wasn't until someone in transit found her cell phone on a train car that the investigation finally shifted away from him. There had been blood in that car, blood damn it. Sixteen hours they'd spent looking at him and there was her fucking blood on the floor of that train!

Someone had hurt her and no one had seen anything. How could no one have seen anything?! It was late. He should have taken her home himself. He shouldn't have dismissed the feelings he'd had that night that they were being watched. He knew now that he'd been right.

And now she was gone and they had nothing but her blood in the damn subway. Someone took her. She had to be alive, she just had too. She was a fighter. He had to believe that she was alive. He kept repeating it over and over in his mind. _She's alive, we're gonna find her. She's alive, we're gonna find her._ It was his mantra. He kept telling himself that she was alive. He focused on those words. At night when it was hard to ignore the images that crept into his head, he would stand in front of the mirror and shout it out loud. He would pace the floor of his apartment, saying those words over and over again until finally, he collapsed to the floor, sobbing and praying.

Lead after lead went cold. He wasn't sure if he could take it if they found her and she wasn't alive. He stayed at his station fielding calls and ready to go at a moments notice. Sitting at his desk was a way of keeping a vigil for her. He would have stayed all day and all night but Cragen had ordered him to go home when night came. He knew that if they didn't find her before another night fell, he would lose it.

They had to find her, they had to. He'd stood at the press conference and begged for her safe return because there was no one else. Sure there were plenty of people, from the precinct, passing acquaintances that would gladly have done it but he was the closest, he was the one who knew her best. She wouldn't have wanted him to cry in front of the cameras for her. He had come close but he hadn't cried because he knew she would berate him for that when they found her. And they were going to find her, alive. He had to believe that.

"Elliot," Cragen called out to him as he exited his office. Elliot didn't even bother to look up as the captain walked over to where he sat. "I think we might have something," Cragen sounded enthusiastic which caught Elliot's attention. He hadn't sounded enthusiastic about a lead in almost forty eight hours.

He finally brought his gaze to meet Cragen's "What is it?" afraid he sounded too hopeful. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the lead that would take them to her. Just maybe there was still hope.

"Ballistics has a match on the shooting of a traffic cop from the night Olivia disappeared," Cragen was gesturing to the paper he was holding.

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Elliot spat angrily. How was that a lead? How was this supposed to help them? Maybe Cragen had finally lost his mind?

"Because the bullet came from Olivia's gun," Cragen said in a stern and slightly reprimanding tone.

"So who pulled the trigger?" Elliot asked. There was no doubt in his mind that the person who shot that cop had taken Olivia. The tiny spark of hope that he had been trying to keep alight in his heart was beginning to grow a bit brighter. Maybe, just maybe…

"The officer woke up a few hours ago. After the detective on the case interviewed him initially, he saw Olivia's picture on the news and identified her as the woman he'd seen with the shooter."

Elliot shot up "Where's this shooter?" he demanded "Tell me they know who he is?" his demand faded into a desperate plea. The spark of hope was now a tiny flame.

"Not yet," Cragen said and Elliot wondered why he still didn't sound disappointed until Cragen handed him a piece of paper "This is their potential suspect list, anyone jump out at you?"

Elliot took the paper "They let that sick son-of-a-bitch out of jail?!" he felt his blood boiling "I'll kill him myself," he swore.

"The SWAT team's getting their gear together now," Cragen told her "You go with them, bring her home."

Elliot bolted from the room. He was going to find her. She would be alive. He forced everything he knew about Richard White and his previous victims to the back of his mind as the flame in his heart grew brighter. He would find her and he would bring her home safe. He had to believe.

**A/N: Will Elliot and the SWAT team get there in time or are they already too late? How much damage has White done in three days?**


	8. Chapter 7: Freedom

Never Forget

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 7: Freedom**

Blood trickled from her most recent wounds onto the sheet that she lay on. He'd beaten her within inches of her life time after time then brought her back just far enough that she could register the pain once again.

She wanted to scream but he kept her gagged and bound, beating and violating her helpless body. Tears seemed to have flowed from her eyes nonstop since the first night. He had lifted her from the closet as soon as the cops had gone and placed her on the bed. He'd ripped her clothes of and reminded her how she would be dead before those fools could put two and two together.

He'd raped her, smacked her around a bit and tossed her back in the closet as though she was a piece of garbage. The next morning he had come to her, removed the gag her and given her a glass of water and some pills that he forced her to take before she even knew what they were. He offered her barely enough food and water to keep her from starving to death.

He shut her up in the closet with the sheet beneath her so that she bled onto it and not onto the floor. He kept telling her how they would probably never find her body because of how powerful the building's furnace was. She just lay there, unable to fight anymore and wishing with all her heart and soul that she had it in her to kick his ass.

He dragged her out of the closet on the second evening and she had braced herself for what she thought was coming. Instead, he dumped her body on the couch in front of the TV. It was on and she could see her colleagues gathered behind the podium. He had pointed at the screen a sneered at her "They haven't got a clue," he had told her.

She hadn't heard him. She was watching Elliot. He was talking to the reporters, asking that whom ever had information about where she might be, call the police. She watched him carefully. She knew him and she knew when he was close to the edge. She could tell that he was near breaking in that moment. White had turned off the TV and brutalized her yet again before returning her to the closet where she cried herself into a light, uneasy sleep. She hadn't seen him since.

She had heard, sometime in the middle of the night or early morning (in the darkness of the closet she had lost all sense of time) him cursing to himself as he prowled around the apartment, opening and closing cabinets and drawers. If she had been more aware, she would have realized what he was doing.

She had been alone now for hours. She wasn't sure what was going to happen next. She lay there, feeling devastated and angry and terrified all at the same time. She tried to move her hands, tried to work them loose in another fruitless attempt to get to freedom. What little energy she had was expended far too quickly.

And just like that, she was left alone with her thoughts. She reflected on her life and among all the paths her mind went down it always arrived at the same thing, Elliot, a constant in her life, the best constant in her life. Someone she had come to trust implicitly. Of course one was supposed to be able to trust one's partner with one's life but it was more than that.

Elliot was someone she had confided in when every fiber of her being had told her to bury her feelings deep inside. She would do anything to prevent him from hurting. The image of him, standing in front of the cameras was burned into her mind now. He was hurting and she couldn't help him now.

In the dark bowels of the closet, she waited for her tormenter to return when suddenly, she heard a loud crash and the splintering of wood. She flinched, afraid that White had somehow become even more enraged. She tried to press herself as tightly as she could against the back wall of the closet.

There were raised voices. Through the haze that seemed ever present now, she could have sworn she heard the word "Police". The sounds of many people making their way through the apartment made her believe that they really had come. Then she heard her name. Someone was calling her name, frantically, pleadingly. The person was drawing closer to where she lay. Was it…? Could it be…? She was almost sure it was Elliot.

She wanted to yell for him, tell him where she was, lead him to the closet so he could rescue her from the hell she seemed to be trapped in. She reached deep within herself and screamed as loud as she could through the gag. It wasn't loud at all, but it had been loud enough.

Light from the open door streamed in and fell across her bare, bruised, bloodied and bound body. She closed her eyes, hoping that she'd been right. She felt a jacket being draped carefully over her.

"Get the paramedics in here now!" it was Elliot, screaming furiously at someone. He had put his jacket over her. He had come to take her away from this place.

She could feel his gentle hands pulling her from the closet. Her gaze finally fell upon his worried face. He reached for the gag and undid it, tossing the tie halfway across the room. She didn't think she had any energy left for tears but she was proven wrong as he untied her wrists and ankles and laid her upon the stretcher the paramedics provided.

He stood beside her as they left the apartment, his gaze never leaving her face. She coughed and managed a faint whisper as her right hand fell from beneath the blankets towards him "Thank you."


	9. Chapter 8: The Waiting Game

Never Forget

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 8: The Waiting Game**

She was pale, she was weak but she was alive. He held her hand all the way to the hospital, assuring her that it was going to be okay. He kept praying that it would be. From what he heard from the paramedics, her injuries were even more severe than they appeared. Internal bleeding, they wouldn't be able to tell for sure until they got to the hospital but somehow, he wasn't sure of the science behind it, they knew.

Her head lay turned in his direction, eyes closed and lips just barely parted as if she were preparing to tell him something but no words came. He simply held her hand and continued to whisper comforting reassurances to her. She had to hang on. She was too stubborn to give up. She was as stubborn as he was. She wouldn't give up the fight.

For a moment he wondered if everything she had been through could have weakened her resolve. He dismissed that thought as quickly as it entered his head. She was tough. She would battle back from the edge. He needed her to fight. He needed to believe in her strength. He needed her. He knew he would go insane without her to pull him back from the brink.

He would have to be strong for her. He would be strong for her. She would need someone, he knew that. No one who had lived through the hell that she had could walk away without emotional scars. As much as he tried to fool himself into thinking that she was bullet proof, she wasn't. And she would need someone. He would be that someone because she would make it. She would survive her physical injuries.

They reached the hospital and Elliot was left behind in the waiting room as Olivia was wheeled away by doctors shouting things about IVs and operating rooms. He leant against a wall for a few moments before finally slumping into a chair.

He was the only one there. The others wanted to be but they couldn't be. White was still on the loose. Cragen had basically told Elliot that he was out of the field until further notice. He was enraged. How could he be expected to simply sit on the sidelines while the pathetic excuse for a human being that had so savagely attacked his partner roamed the streets? But there was no use fighting it.

For now, he sat and waited, waited for news on Olivia's condition, waited to hear from the guys that they'd found White, waited… waited for something to happen. He didn't like waiting and yet somehow it was all he could do.

Finally, after several hours of endless waiting, a doctor appeared and gave him the news that he'd been waiting to hear "She came through surgery fine. She's resting comfortably now. We'll be keeping her here for a few days just to keep an eye on her."

Elliot thanked the doctor. He had asked to see her but the doctor told him that he'd rather not have her be disturbed while the anesthesia wore off. So Elliot returned to the seat and kept waiting.

His phone rang an hour later, still no sign of White. Cragen instructed him to stay at the hospital with Olivia until a twenty four hour guard could be put in place. Elliot agreed but when he hung up the phone and was told by the doctor that he could go visit with Olivia, he wished he had better news for her.


	10. Chapter 9: Shared Guilt

Never Forget

**Never Forget**

**Chapter 9: Shared Guilt**

**A/N: This chapter is just for Piper-Jacko06-Butterflygirl because she wanted me to update again before she loses internet. So here you go kid and hope you find internet access somewhere else real soon.**

Her mind felt foggy. Her eyelids seemed impossibly heavy. She felt like it would take a forklift to pry them open. But that was not the case. As soon as she sensed the other presence in the room her eyes opened immediately. Her gaze settled on Elliot who sat beside the bed. She attempted to clear her throat desperately wanting to say something but her throat felt like sandpaper, even drier than sandpaper if that was even possible. She coughed which made her throat feel worse "El…?" the one syllable was all she could manage before she fell silent again.

"Hey there," he smiled kindly in her direction. She wasn't sure whether she was imagining his red rimmed eyes or not but there was no mistaking the concern in his face and tone.

There was silence. Olivia didn't feel like talking and Elliot looked like he felt the same. But just when Olivia thought her partner had said his piece and she was allowing her eyes to close again, he continued "You had us worried sick."

Olivia gave a small nod. In the back of her mind there was a fleeting inquiry to her subconscious if somehow the use of the word "us" was code for the word "me". It was a notion that she barely gave any notice to.

"That night," he kept talking and although there was a large part of her that just wanted to be left alone to sleep, she recognized that there was something he was trying to say, something he needed to say so she kept listening. "I should have insisted… I'm so sorry," he finished in a whisper.

Realization struck her. She made another attempt at communicating "Don't blame yourself," she told him in such a pathetically weak voice that she knew it did little if anything to make him believe that he was not responsible for what had happened to her.

"I should have known," he said in an angry tone. Olivia knew he was angry at himself. She wanted to be able to calm the stormy sea of his heart the way she had many times before but she felt helpless to do so in her current condition. She could add Elliot's name to the list of people she had let down by letting White to what he did to her.

"You couldn't have…" she trailed off but she could hear his footsteps moving into the hallway. He'd left. She'd driven him away. She wished she could have found the right thing to say before he'd lost it.

With Elliot out of the room, her mind turned to her own predicament. Her whole body still hurt. The medications and fluid pumping through the IV into her bloodstream seemingly did nothing to help. It was okay though, the physical pain she could handle. She would be strong enough for that much, she told herself.

She also tried to tell herself that she wouldn't let having been victimized by White change her at all. It couldn't change who she was. She wouldn't let it. But deep down, she knew it would change her. How many women had she seen who were never the same again? She tried to ignore the obvious and tried to tell herself that she would handle it.

Then there was the question of the morning after pill. She knew that her presence in her mother's life had made it impossible for her mother to forget. Olivia had always said that if the same thing happened to her, she would take the pill without question but was it the right thing to do?

The sound of footsteps coming closer snapped her from her thoughts. She was on high alert as her eyes opened. She focused on the door, reaching for the call button just in case. Her grasp on the button instantly released and her jaw dropped when she saw who it was.

Elliot walked into the room, holding a cup in one hand "The doctor said you could have some water," he said kindly as he sat down beside her again and held the cup out to her. He stuck a straw in it which barely touched her lips.

She managed a small smile as she wrapped her lips around the plastic tube and began to sip at the cool liquid. After a minute or so and half the small cup consumed, her head fell back against the pillow. So she hadn't driven him away after all. Or at least, if she had, he'd come back "Thanks," she said to him in a slightly stronger voice. Elliot nodded and the two of them let silence fall between them. Olivia still sensed there was something else that he felt compelled to tell her but for the moment, he said nothing.


End file.
